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54!

Today I am 54.  54 years of life on this planet.  I would like to share something that has been in my heart lately and pray that the truth of it can help someone out there in a positive way.  It is life-changing for me.

I was the oldest child in our family, my family position was “the caretaker”.  I strived to make everyone happy, all of the time.  I thought that this was my job.  Being the oldest, a female, and many other factors all contributed to this self-made job description.

I have a very high empathy level and to tell you the truth, when someone is hurting, I hurt too.  Deeply.  Many times it is even physically painful for me.  Last week with the Las Vegas shootings as well as a very dear friend passing away from a massive heart attack unexpectedly at the age of 49, leaving behind my dear friend and her three college-aged children.  Additionally, the day to day pull of the many, ongoing needs here in our very rural part of Nigeria had me feeling overwhelmed and hopeless.

Dan and I were watching an episode of Cold Case last week, and the episode was a case from 2005.  They played the song, “Fix You”, by Cold Play in the show and it reminded me of a cover version that I love and had forgotten about done by WorshipMob.  It reminded me, that I cannot fix ANYTHING.  I can pray, I can pray for discernment, wisdom, God’s will.  BUT, even in the infinite and mighty power of a firstborn caretaker I can’t. FIX. ANYTHING. These words reminded me again of where our power comes from and who the FIXER truly is.  It is not in my power, I don’t need to feel guilty, hopeless, or inadequate. I need to rest in the truth that I wasn’t made to fix, I was made to pray and obey.

My point for today is this: I hope you hear the truth in these words and feel them deep in your soul as I do today.

FIX YOU REVISED BY WorshipMob

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep

Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something that you can’t replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

He will guide you home

And ignite your bones

He gave His life to fix you

 

High up above or down below

When you’re too in love to let it go

But if you never try you’ll never know

Just what you’re worth

He can guide you home

And ignite your bones

He gave his life to fix you

 

Tears stream down your face

When you lose something you cannot replace

Tears stream down your face and I

Tears stream down your face

When you can learn from your mistakes

Tears stream down your face and I

He will guide you home

And ignite your bones

He lived and died to fix you

5 Responses to 54!

  1. First of all, Happy Birthday to you!!! Also, I’m praying for you and that dear family that had to say “see you later” to their Dad and Husband..
    Thank you for your inspirational words…

  2. Happy one day late birthday. I too am the caregiver/oldest in my family.You are my dearest friend and I consider you like a sister, that places you second from the last baby lol. God is sovereign over absolutely everything and I too have come to the realization over an extended hospital stay with our son, that the things we fix don’t always stay fixed. To God be the glory and the Power! I am so sorry for your losses. I am always here.

    • Thank you so much, Kim, I am so thankful for you, my one and only big sister and thankful for the prayers prayed for each other over these many years. Thank you for being there always!

  3. Happy one day late birthday. I too am the caregiver/oldest in my family.You are my dearest friend and I consider you like a sister, that places you second from the last baby lol. God is sovereign over absolutely everything and I too have come to the realization over an extended hospital stay with our son, that the things we fix don’t always stay fixed. To God be the glory and the Power! I am so sorry for your losses.

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